Job hunting

I currently have a casual job doing data entry a few days per month. My workplace is a great environment to work in, pays generously and I'm saved the hassle of dealing with the general public. The hours are great for while I'm at uni, because I don't have to juggle a regular part-time job while trying to finish forty six assignments and ward off complete mental meltdowns. It's not so good for when semester is over and I have oceans of free time but not a lot of cash in reserve.

Consequently I've been hunting around for jobs on a Christmas casual or part-time basis. I came across this absolute gem of a job ad. I'm thinking of applying, despite not being fully qualified.

Normally, I loathe and detest the need to write a different version of 'I am seeking employment and I'm generally awesome and you really ought to hire me, okay' cover letter for every application. This one, however, would be different.  It would probably go something like this.

Dear [insert name here],

I am a university student currently seeking employment over the Christmas period. I am writing in response to your ad placed on Seek.com.au, advertising for data aynalists.

Unfortunately, I do not consider myself to be a data aynalist. I am, however, currently employed on a casual basis as a data entry assistant, which has given me an excellent eye for detail. To demonstrate that this is not a mere fabrication designed to persuade you to give me a job, I have highlighted all the errors in the aforementioned job ad for your perusal below.

It strikes me that although you may be looking for a data analyst, you could probably also do with a decent proofreader - or at least, whoever actually wrote and submitted this ad could. Let me explain:

• The author was so unable to grasp the correct spelling of 'analyst' that they failed twice with two different permutations of the word.
• Other misspellings include 'immediately' and 'possess', both highlighted above.
• The phrase 'proven experience of high accuracy and speed' doesn't quite sound right, but that could just be the result of my brain turning to mush after a semester spent meticulously editing assignments, so I'll forgive that one for now.
• In the third sentence, there is a comma where there should, in fact, be a full stop, therefore starting a new sentence with 'To be considered...'.
• Last time I checked, I was pretty good at hitting ground runnings. However I think you're actually looking for someone who can hit the ground running instead.
• I can't 'provide data entry good speeds', because that just plain doesn't make sense. I can provide good data entry speeds though.
• Finally, you emphasise twice that you are after someone with a keen eye for detail. This much is desperately obvious.

My skills are primarily in the area of data entry (rather than analysis) and facetious proofreading. I may not be the data analyst that you seek, but if you are looking to employ someone who will work hard and spell words correctly, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,

Emma.